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Amazing development in the Somerton Body Case!

This is groundbreaking news .. 

Whether or not the body is identified as Carl Webb is of little consequence because what matters is WHAT Carl Webb was and after eleven years of painstaking research we have what could be the answer.

With the assistance of some of Australia’s better known corporations (PwC, KPMG, BDO to name a few) we have pin-pointed many aspects of both the man’s appearance and the items found in his suitcase, all of which indicate his true profession.

The Somerton Man Was An ACCOUNTANT!!!

Breathtaking news, yes? Read on ……

Remember the five pencils found in his suitcase? Accountants use pencils rather than pens because what they write in the ledger columns in pencil can easily be erased and replaced, something that comes in handy if a little silky bookkeeping is called for. Try using ink for that.

The cut-down knife?
Didn’t find a pencil sharpener in his suitcase did they?

The scissors?
Guy had clean, well tended fingernails. So do accountants. Say no more.

The particle brush and black powder shaken from the bristles?
Refer back to all that erasing, lots of graphite left on the ledger pages had to dealt with, can’t just blow it away and leave a mess on the desk so you brush it into an envelope. Remember them? He had a couple. Accountants are neat like that.

Hands that showed no signs of manual labour. Accountants only need a couple of fingers to hold a pencil.

Picture yourself as having to interview men applying for a job as your company’s accountant. What do you look for in them?
Clean and shined shoes. Check

Clean white shirt and a sober tie. Check.

Good slacks and a presentable jacket. Check.

Clean hands and trimmed nails. Check.

Clean shaven with well trimmed hair. Check.

Then of course there is the final test when the interviewer asks the interviewee the giant-killer question.

He asks him what two plus two comes to.

Anyone who answers four is shown the door.

But our man knows what’s what in the business world. So he sits back and smiles, knowing already the job is his.

He replies, ‘What do you want it to be?’

 

23 Comments Post a comment
  1. No One to bamboozle #

    An accountant with only sixpence to his name

    Like

    March 14, 2024
    • Missing wallet sport, some lowlife stripped it off him on the beach.

      Like

      March 14, 2024
      • Guzz Rating #

        ….along with his zippo lighter.

        Like

        March 14, 2024
      • No One can tell for sure #

        Or stripped everything off him

        before he was dumped on the beach

        Like

        March 15, 2024
  2. john sanders #

    Peteb #

    Some might say windbreaking news but not moi. I wrote up a worthy candidate accountant from Glenelg who worked with the Feds in WW2 on adding machines and wrote a book entitled ‘The Mechanics of Accounting’. Took awhile to find the bloke had died in the eighties.

    Like

    March 14, 2024
    • I used to be in the numbers game JS, and speak from the pulpit of perception on this matter.

      Like

      March 14, 2024
      • John Sanders #

        Always had a notion that you may have had tight connections to CPA. Wonder GC didn’t twig.

        Like

        March 14, 2024
        • Did the numbers for a yacht costing the Russian owner 30 mill .. and that was before the rigging. Then we nailed a writ to Syd Fischer’s yacht two days before he was to sail in the Syd/Hobart race .. Happy days those, especially when a local lad was dragged out of the shed and kicked all over the road for selling dope to the son of the biggest engine fitter .. the guy doing the kicking. And by the way, I got my ticket from TAFE .. the working man’s university.

          Like

          March 14, 2024
  3. Clive #

    And the envelopes, in the suitcase, used for money ‘transfers’, no questions asked?

    Like

    March 14, 2024
  4. Xavier S. #

    I would think he was a former inmate, judging by all the knives he was found with, he was going to shiv somebody who done him wrong,but instead someone got him!

    Like

    March 15, 2024
  5. John Sanders #

    Judging by all the knives he wasn’t found with, leastwise not on his person and of which none could be considered a shiv, might pay you to think again. Mind you the ‘former inmate suggestion be not without some merit. Xav!

    Like

    March 15, 2024
    • Xavier C. #

      My Mistakes,I was half asleep when I wrote it.

      Like

      March 15, 2024
      • John Sanders #

        GC’s inarguably ‘most respected and evidence based blog claims that amongst SM suitcase “scatter” were stationery items ie., envelopes, H grade sketch pencils, plus eraser and fancy sharpener. (see suitcase contents thread).

        Like

        March 15, 2024
  6. John Sanders #

    Keane punters might all like to join GC and a couple of his still living alter ego pals over at Big Tooty where current in depth scientific analysis of head to full height comparisons with the Webb boys are in full swing.

    Like

    March 16, 2024
  7. Calypso #

    I’d brush the graphite in a zinc foil if I were him. Or try and catch it with a static comb. No need to waste any envelopes.

    Like

    March 16, 2024
    • Fair enough, but how did James Cowan, the world’s best government analyst failed to identify that black powder much to Dr Dwyer’s surprise . and that being the case, how come the investigators didn’t ask for a second opinion, eh?

      Like

      March 16, 2024
    • Calypso #

      Well perhaps it was a very special blend of graphite. Or Cowan just didn’t have his day.

      Like

      March 16, 2024
    • Calypso #

      I’d not use that graphite dusted comb for the hair anymore though, for a clean presentation. Better have a spare one for that.

      Like

      March 16, 2024
  8. john sanders #

    Thought we’d settled on degraded Stockholm tar (‘orses ‘ooves) residue rather than graphite which won’t stick to a brush worth a sire or a dam. Pretty sure Shabbs or another equine enthusiast came up with that’n.

    Like

    March 16, 2024
    • Calypso #

      That probably could be smelled easily.

      Like

      March 16, 2024
  9. Clive #

    Per Lawson, the SM’s legs were very tanned, up to the crotch, so he must have worn shorts at some stage, plus his legs had well developed calf muscles. These two facts must point to some type of occupation? Damned if I can think of one.

    Like

    March 16, 2024
  10. John Sanders #

    Dan Dan the dunny cart man could develop good calf muscles over time and a tan from boot tops to crutch would come with the job; Think you’ve kicked the shit can in for a winner Clive.

    Like

    March 17, 2024
  11. No One knows who he is #

    Jason Bourne must be in there somewhere

    He was a Webb

    Like

    March 17, 2024

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