Calling out Gordon Cramer
It’s time to put the boot into MICRO-WRITING!
here’s Pete the Plagiarist* googling the Tamam Shud / Somerton Man code and this image immediately grabs his attention:
So, he’s thinking, ‘hullo, someone’s finally got to the bottom of this code,’ and before you know it there’s another view Gordon micro Cramer can add to his proudly published score of 500,000. We should all be so lucky, though one problem for the statistician amongst us might be that John (Dusty) Sanders is probably responsible for about 100,000 of them.
And in case I haven’t mentioned it previously, he’s done some favours for my numbers as well .. cảm ơn nhiều, veteran.
Getting back to the image: the red squares are supposed to denote ‘pro-signs’ … meaning they work like road signs in that they tell the spy who’s reading them when to stop, when to start, what’s the correct path, what’s the wrong way .. etc etc. Lovely. Very cunning.
Then Pete the Plagiarist researches a little further into Google and comes up with this. More little red squares, and look! Something else.
Not only is this micro bloke sucking all the oxygen out of the Somerton Man on the internet, he’s getting his stuff published high wide and handsome by the television and press. But our man has a problem with what he’s looking at here. Pete the P knows there are a thousand ways to write something invisible on paper. He’s read a lot of John le Carre.
Like using urine for example, or quinine, or the juice squeezed from three day-old mashed kipfler potatoes – all you need to do is apply a little heat underneath the page and up pops the message.
Problem here is the message that’s popped up wasn’t done by that process .. all Mr micro Cramer had to work with was a photo of a photo that was digitalised for reproduction on the internet, and we all know what happens when you stick a lighted match under a computer screen.
But our man Pete isn’t finished yet, not by a long shot, plagiarists are determined characters when their lack of authenticity is questioned.
Pete reads that not only was a code written on the back of a book, there was a phone number there as well and, according to some, another number believed to be a bank account.
The phone number according to the copper in charge of the case was able to be read no problem. The bank account number though was a tougher proposition according to Mr Cramer as it was written in the left-hand bottom corner of the smudge on the top right of the page. This is where electron microscopes come in handy.
At this stage Pete looks down at his left leg, sees someone pulling that as well because now Mr Cramer is seeing secretly written micro-messages everywhere!
Just open the book and there they are, as plain as day.
The inscription, ink blobs included, the pretty lady’s hair, her eyebrows, lips, fingernails, the book’s title, the publisher’s details and even the blasted binding – this stuff spreads like Covid19. Is nothing safe?
And there’s more, here, on the slip .. These two words aren’t the result of a printing press, noooosir, there are messages in there. Many messages. Important messages. Micro messages.
Lastly, and about time, our man cannot quite grasp what was so secret about ships passing in and out of Sydney Harbour in the last years of WW2. The Japs were buggered and the Russians were allies, plus if anyone wanted to check out harbour traffic all he had to do was rent a room at Potts Point and look out the bloody window. Like young Fedor did when he wasn’t playing chess and smoking hashish with all those long-haired commie layabouts at the Cross.
Come to think of it, the last time we counted the number of widows that looked down on Sydney Harbour in 1945 he came up with about 500,000, which coincidentally is the same number of page views old micro has racked up.
How’s the irony?
Now we’ll have a look at how a bloke about 6’2″ high with his bugle spread all over his face shrinks* 3 inches on a morgue slab after scoring a Hollywood style nose-job. We’re talking about Pavel Fedosimov here, Cramer’s red hot favourite for being the Somerton Man.
Good old micro .. always good for chuckle.
*Apparently it is a little known Cramerlian fact that a body shrinks markedly after it’s life has expired .. attempts are being made to confirm this phenomenon with little success to date despite repeated visits to multiple morgues in the country, nevertheless it remains our mission ..
Cramer once insisted that EVERYTHING in the suitcase was litter, in other words was placed there by persons unknown to deflect the investigative process.
Read on ….
We now examine another of Gordon’s theories involving the logistics of removing a corpse from a popular beach in the balm of a summer’s evening and transporting it to a secluded place where the body’s striped trousers can be removed and replaced with a clean pair of plain duds before returning it to its original resting place.
And not to make this scenario any more complicated, we will incorporate the time it took to make repairs on the aforesaid trousers (the fresh ones) prior to fitting them to the corpse so as to link them with what was once considered litter in the unfortunate fellow’s suitcase.
This will of course involve the perpetrators visiting the Adelaide train station at some stage to redeem the suitcase, open it and remove the Barbour thread, only to return later and replace same.
The fact that this unusual traffic escaped the notice of whoever was manning the luggage office at the time is a little worrying … but we have no doubt an explanation will soon be forthcoming from the author of this scenario.
I haven’t made anything up here, Gordon Cramer, these are your theories and yours to defend. The fact that you aren’t doing so suggests you have your own doubts.
*An unearned title bestowed on yours truly by the micro-man himself. He should be happy I’ve been gentle with him here. Blame that on my upbringing.
This post will self destruct in the fullness of time.